April's Magazine Is a Love List!
One wedding and one funeral, 12,000 words of a new book, and lots of things to love.
How to write the monthly magazine when you haven’t been doing anything remotely magazine-worthy because of grief and all its attendant strangeness? That’s what I first thought when I started writing, but when I reflected a little on the month that was, I realised that while some months look on the surface to be more worthy of comment, months are not just about events and news and experiences and activities. Months are also about gestures and notes and the unexpected.
Something I learned, which I suppose I knew but had forgotten in the rush of daily life, is how good it makes you feel when people do something small and unanticipated and delightful. Like the meals that appear on your doorstep, or the houseplants and flowers, the offers to have a drink after the funeral so you don’t end the day thinking about death; the notes and messages that make you realise how cared for you are.
When you’re always rushing from moment to moment with barely time to breathe in between, it’s easy to begin to wonder if your circle is in danger of becoming ever narrower because you haven’t taken the time to nurture it properly. But human beings are wonderful. We don’t need constant contact in order to give someone our kindness and generosity. We are at heart extraordinary creatures and showing love is something we’re good at—well, my friends certainly are. I bet yours are too.
I suppose we get out of every moment the things we search for. I’ve had one funeral and one wedding this past week and I could look for the sadness in the former or I could focus on the love that was present in both. I could remember not the 3,500 words I fell short of in meeting my writing goal for the fortnight, but that within the 12,500 words of a new book that I did manage to write is also a lot of love: love for the simple process of writing, love for the characters beginning to grow out of the words I type, love for the idea behind the book, which is slightly crazy but also a hell of a lot of fun.
So, with that in mind, this month’s magazine is all about the things I’ve loved over the past few weeks. I hope you’re tempted to try some of them out!
Yes, the new book I’m writing now has 12,500 words in it. Are they good ones? Some are. Some might even be genius! Or that could be the deluded mind of an author who has to believe in herself and banish all doubts because doubts are dangerous in this early stage of a book.
I always find the first 20,000 words the hardest. That’s because